I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
