It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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