Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
