Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
