you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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