I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
