oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize