I want to have your abortion
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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