Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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