i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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