i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
