I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
