if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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