I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
