I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
