she was so not down for the gang bang
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize