Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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