shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
