i'm signing you up for texting rehab
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
