Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
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