Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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