no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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