just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
