Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
