I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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