Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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