I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Randomize