I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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