Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
