i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
