Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
