i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
