It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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