Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
she told me i tasted like america
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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