Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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