what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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