I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
