he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
