i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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