you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize