omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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