I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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