hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
