i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
