You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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