I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
