What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
