when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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