I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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