i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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