this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
