I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
