I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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