Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize