Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
soo... how was my night?
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