So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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