i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
